Archer the Narcissist

Sterling Archer is the main character from a popular animated TV show. I intend to show that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This is going to be a mock interview of Sterling Archer using real quotes from him from the show.

Me: “Mr. Archer, do you know why you are here to see me today?”

Archer: “You're looking for the word, 'yes'?”

Me: “Yes.”

Archer: “Then, yes.”

Me: “Mr. Archer, you have people that care about you that think you might be a little... narcissistic.”

Archer: “Woodhouse!”

Me: “I don't know. It's possible he is one of the people that thinks this.”

Archer: “What? He thinks he's people?!?”

*Note: lacks empathy, check.

Me: “Well, Woodhouse is a person, Mr. Archer.”

Archer: “I'm going to pain you dearly Woodhouse, when I peel all your skin off with a knife, sew it into Woodhouse pajamas and then set those pajamas on fire!”

*Note: really, really lacks empathy.

Me: “That's not appropriate Mr. Archer. Why are you so angry at Woodhouse?”

Archer: “Because how hard is it to poach a *expletive deleted* egg properly?!? Seriously, that's like Eggs 101.”

*Note: tendency to be interpersonally exploitative, check.

Me: “Perhaps you should move on from being mad at your breakfast.”

Archer: “There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that.”

Me: “It seems that you perhaps are feeling insecure. Are there aspects about yourself that you want to change?

Archer: “Do you see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man body?”

Me: “No. You aren't my type, Mr. Archer.”

Archer: “Hey, I am everybody's type!”

*Note: excessive need for admiration, check.

*Note: believes that others are envious of him, check.

*Note: shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes, check.

Me: “That's pretty funny, Mr. Archer.”

Archer: “Because I happen to have perfect situational awareness.”

*Note: belief that he is “special” and unique, check.

Me: “I see. Have you thought that perhaps you don't have perfect situational awareness?”

Archer: “I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you, buddy.”

Me: “Okay. So why do you think you are so special?”

Archer: “Hey, we're out there risking our lives every... many of the days!”

*Note: grandiose sense of self-importance, check.

Me: “Did you know that the people around you just want you to be a little nicer to them?”

Archer: “I thought they just wanted my hair so their scientists could unlock its luxuriant fullness.”

*Note: Preoccupation with fantasies of beauty, check.

Me: “Mr. Archer, do you realize that in the couple of minutes that we've been talking that you've shown yourself to be eight of the nine criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder? You only need five in order to be diagnosed as such.”

Archer: “DANGER ZONE!”